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u/TomCBC
Feb 06 '23
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I’d be offering perks for more money. “For an extra 10 mil I’ll shout “my man!” And high-five you when you climax. For 20 mill extra I’ll film it with professional lighting so you can take it as a souvenir.
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u/Mindraker Feb 07 '23
I’d be offering perks for more money.
I'd be spreading my buttcheeks for a few extra mil
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u/ElCoyoteBlanco Feb 07 '23
Shit, you'd do that for tree-fiddy.
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u/Mindraker Feb 07 '23
maybe
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u/NoGoodUsernameSad Feb 07 '23
Hold up y'all getting paid?
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u/Vamparisen Feb 07 '23
Dag nabbit Loch Ness monstah! I ain't gonna give you no tree fiddy!
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u/Kitchen_Reference_29 Feb 07 '23
Me over here just spreading mine for a few percs
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u/Aaron6940 Feb 07 '23
Like when you get off a rollercoaster. I’d have the picture he could get in the cardboard souvenir folder. He could also get a fridge magnet or mug or snow globe.
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u/MoldyDiarrhoea Feb 07 '23
Just take the mill off the end and you've described exactly how the porn industry operates.
Guys don't make shit. I guess clapping those fine ass cheeks makes up for it.
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u/Bleezy79 Feb 07 '23
Just what bros want, a dude to high five while they're cumming. fuck yea bro!!
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u/buscoamigos Feb 07 '23
When I was a young guy in the Navy a bunch of us were sitting around shooting the shit and someone asked "would you suck a dick for $1 million?" Everyone looked disgusted, claiming that no way in hell would they do that.
Our LPO looked at us and said "You all are dumb asses. For $1 million I would not only suck a dick, but I would do it on live TV with my parents watching from the front row."
Frank Mueller, you were truly a badass.
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u/TeaBreezy Feb 07 '23
Which is ironic because you know all those guys have done it for free.
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u/Throwawaymytrash77 Feb 07 '23
This conversation definitely still comes up with us lower enlisted folk, and there is always an LPO or chief there to drop a similar line, I swear. I was just thinking it myself while reading this😂 like shit there isn't much I wouldn't do for 20mil. Shit, 1 mil.
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u/imnotinventive Feb 07 '23
Everyone in the military has participated in this conversation more than once and anyone in long enough has gone from one side to the other. I mean shit, once you've been bent over by green willy for a few years how bad can getting bent over by another man really hurt?
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Feb 06 '23
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u/toomanymarbles83 Feb 06 '23
Robert Redford about to reprise his role.
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u/wellwaffled Feb 07 '23
I did not realize he was still alive
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u/LostMyHousecarl Feb 07 '23
Avengers Endgame was only three years ago. But even with the billions it made, I suppose not everyone has seen it.
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u/esairbear Feb 07 '23
It’s kinda cool that gen z is quick to toss aside icons and deny them any relevancy if they are old/out of the spotlight. It means that as soon as you stop being relevant, off to the bin you go. Kinda like that quote saying even Cleopatra ended up buried in dirt just like everyone else
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u/wellwaffled Feb 07 '23
I’ve seen it multiple times but I 200% did not remember him being in it.
I’m pretty dumb though.
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u/BigPoodler Feb 07 '23
Adjusted for inflation OP is right the original 1 million would need to be 20 million today /s
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u/BranchPredictor Feb 07 '23
I know there was /s but out of interest you made me look up the inflation calculator. According to it 1mil in 1993 is now about 2.02 mil. Not quite 10x yet but let's see what else happens in 2023.
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u/MrPurple998 Feb 07 '23
From wiki
On July 30, 2018, Paramount Players announced that a remake of the film was in development
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Feb 06 '23 edited Feb 21 '23
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u/oddministrator Feb 07 '23
RIP your inbox
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u/RunningSouthOnLSD Feb 07 '23
If someone wants to pay me $20 mil to fuck me then rip up my inbox too please I will take that
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u/Aeramay_Gaming Feb 06 '23
$20 million for three minutes of work? I’m in.
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u/HollowKnight_the_2nd Feb 06 '23
Technically they only need to have sex, but ain’t nobody say for how long, just stick it in and take your 20 million, you literally don’t have to do more than that
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u/praguepride Feb 06 '23
A woman says her boss is offering her a thousand dollars to have sex with her. Her boyfriend says to do it but just grab the money and run so if it even happens its as quick as possible.
She goes in and doesnt come out. An hour goes by and they are still banging. The boyfriend bursts in worried and sees his girl on all fours and the boss riding her like no tomorrow.
He shouts “Why didnt you take the cash and run?”
She responds: “The bastard paid me in quarters!”
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u/catzhoek Feb 07 '23
Gently grab the guys hips from behind as you guide his tip in with your other hand just 1 couple millimeters and BAMMMM: You and your girl leave the site in a smoke of dust.
In the end you are gayer than your girl is a cheater.
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u/VASP-0_0 Feb 06 '23
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u/Ofbatman Feb 06 '23
Yo Killer! Kill yo!
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u/Upset-Ad-5153 Feb 06 '23
Why you gotta make me feel inferior just cause I'm on the grill, b? Daaamn!
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u/choaniki Feb 07 '23
A 19-year-old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl cries and says she only dated the father for a few weeks. She picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if the worst should happen and there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest we do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him: "You try again."
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u/TalentedWithholding Feb 06 '23
Is there truly another correct response to this query?
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u/GodofAeons Feb 07 '23
Well, there's plenty of people that do it for free (cuckold, poly, etc). So, for them it's a win win
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u/StankoMicin Feb 07 '23
Man. To think all it takes for more poly acceptance is money.
We have been approaching this wrong all along
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u/sapereaud33 Feb 07 '23
The talking points I received were "cheaper rent" and "always enough people to play D&D" but maybe those were customized.
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u/averagethrowaway21 madlad Feb 07 '23
Wait, everyone in the polycule is showing up for D&D without excuses?
I need to rethink my life.
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u/pinzi_peisvogel Feb 06 '23
Yeah! Stay with that girl who made you rich and travel to warm and romantic places...she obviously knows how to shag
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u/evaunitO5 Feb 06 '23
You missed the part where she doesn't tell you, he does. Obviously a joke post but yeah fuck that lol.
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u/314159265358979326 Feb 06 '23
I don't think that's the case. "They" would have to refer to your SO if they're splitting the money with you.
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u/KaiserTom Feb 06 '23
My wife and I have had this discussion. I assume many spouses have. I at least know others who have. The answer is we'd be absolutely fine with it for that sort of money, or just a million even is usually the amount at least. Absolute life changing and surrounding amounts of money. And it's just sex too.
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u/praguepride Feb 06 '23
What would you consider the bottom amount? How does $10 grand sound? Just asking… 👀
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u/TrevorsMailbox Feb 06 '23 edited Feb 06 '23
DM'ed you my address. There's a white Ford Edge parked out front.
Wife is doing her hair and trying on lingerie now, she wants to know what your favorite color is.
Edit: sorry that was rude of me to assume your preference. I'll just pick something cute out for myself and you can decide when you get here.
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u/praguepride Feb 06 '23
Pro troll. Tell two different couples this and make the arrangements so they end up fucking one another and then both demanding money afterwards
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u/sweensolo Feb 07 '23
I would watch this documentary.
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u/praguepride Feb 07 '23
lemme ring up netflix. greenlit by thursday, filming by monday, on the air by march
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u/TrevorsMailbox Feb 07 '23
God damned brilliant.
My wife says we're stealing your idea, but you can come over for free this time.
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u/bdog59600 Feb 07 '23
There's a story attributed (probably incorrectly) to Winston Churchill:
Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for 5 million pounds? Socialite: My goodness … well, I suppose. Churchill: Would you sleep with me for 5 pounds? Socialite: What type of woman do you think I am? Churchill: We’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.
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u/gothicaly Feb 07 '23
My partner would know me well enough that i would be madder if they didnt take the 20 million freaking dollars. (If they so choose)
Sex? So what. Theyve banged other people before me. 1 measly fuck for the life of luxury? Vaginas clean themselves anyway
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u/Over-Confidence4308 Feb 07 '23
As one of my buddies once said, "What, do you think that there's a lap counter on that thang?"
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u/imfreerightnow Feb 07 '23
The “they” is referencing the significant other. They (the SO) are the one who told you.
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u/neomis Feb 07 '23
Not only that write a book. I’m so good at sex I got paid millions for it. Here’s my secret.
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u/Mutjny Feb 07 '23
Yeah if somebodies paying $20m to nail her she's either insanely hot, the best lay ever, or both.
And you're getting it for free.
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u/dalmathus Feb 06 '23
Its correct except for the breaking up part. Everyone has a price and I'm fairly sure its alot lower than $20m don't need to punish her for that when you would do the same thing.
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u/Hey_im_miles Feb 07 '23
I wouldn't fuck up my marriage for 20 mil.
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u/Pladdy Feb 07 '23
This is a breath of fresh air
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u/Hey_im_miles Feb 07 '23
If it makes you feel better the majority of the people commenting here are literally and/or developmentally 12
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u/generallydislikable Feb 07 '23
no man if you truly love and trust your wife you'll be ok with her fucking another dude for money /s
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u/Hey_im_miles Feb 07 '23
Some poly amorous guy up there was like "how would that ruin your marriage, I give my wife advice on which guys to date all the time".
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u/Aussie18-1998 Feb 07 '23
If its consensual by you and your wife I dont see how it'd fuck up the marriage. You can both retire and enjoy the rest of your lifes together.
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u/CrazyCalYa Feb 07 '23
There is no earthly way I could feel jealous of a partner in that situation. How deeply, deeply insecure does someone need to be to think "wow I bet you didn't do it for the money, you probably wanted to anyway"? $20m is generational levels of wealth. If I could give the person I love the most in the world $10m I'd do it, even if they hated me for it.
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u/NotJuniorBridgeman Feb 07 '23
I agree it would fuck up your marriage if your wife was against it and you were pressuring her into doing it. But if she was on board, and you were as well, what's the harm? It's not like it's a long-term sexual relationship, it's just one time and then you're set for life.
Turn it around. If the guy wanted to sleep with you for $20mm, and you were down with enduring any discomfort, embarrassment, awkwardness, etc. for the sweet, sweet money, and your wife was on board, why would that cause marital strife?
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u/youngatbeingold Feb 07 '23
Eh, working gives my husband a slew of stress and depression, and I have to work with a chronic illness so it makes living difficult. Our families have finical issues that bring more stress. Having 20 mil would solve nearly all our problems and make the unsolvable ones easier. I would totally let him bang someone for 20 mil.
I 100% know he loves me and it probably wouldn't put that much stress on our relationship. I would have a hard time turning down someone offering 20mil for a bang because I know how much it would ease his struggles.
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u/Mookies_Bett Feb 07 '23
Ehhh disagree. If I were happily married with the person I truly felt was "my person" I don't think there's any amount of money that would be worth it to ruin that.
I could never stay with someone who slept with another man while they were with me. Regardless of the circumstances. So no matter what, even if the number is $10 trillion, it would still mean the end of our relationship. And sure, maybe with $5 trillion I could find another soul mate, but I don't think I'd want to take that risk.
Love > money. And I can't love a woman who has had some other dude's dick inside of her. Not unless it was before we were dating obviously.
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u/Fidel__Casserole Feb 07 '23
Some people have morals and some things you can't put a price on
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u/IndubitablyMoist Feb 07 '23
Finding someone you genuinely love is not easy. No money in the world is gonna change that.
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u/The-SoloS Feb 06 '23
Shit for him paying 20 million I’ll reach under and fondle balls. Every man has a price and I promise it’s well under $20 million.
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u/EvilSporkOfDeath Feb 07 '23
I doubt Jeff or Elon are fondling balls for 20 mil
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u/Ardemonn Feb 06 '23
Best i can do is 5$, and even that is a huge risk. Deal?
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u/The-SoloS Feb 06 '23
My dignity is amazingly still worth more than that
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u/Ardemonn Feb 06 '23
Alright, in that case get out of my pawnshop
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u/The-SoloS Feb 06 '23
Question: if I pawn my daughters virginity can I come back and claim it later?
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u/Ardemonn Feb 07 '23
Look at the sign... NO REFUNDS
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u/The-SoloS Feb 07 '23
That’s a weird pawnshop! A pawnshop that doesn’t allow you to pawn things. That’s just a secondhand store
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Feb 06 '23
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u/PurringWolverine Feb 07 '23
It’s ok buddy. I’m sure before you met her she did much worse for much, much less.
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u/Azurealy Feb 07 '23
Tbh I couldn't do this. The money would be awesome but I just love her too much to want this.
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u/TheRavenSayeth Feb 07 '23
Yeah same. I get most of these are answers by people not in a relationship or apparently not in very strong ones, but my wife and family are worth more than money.
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u/tsilihin666 Feb 07 '23
Bro I have been with my wife for a very long time. If someone offers us $20 million for doing something that isn't violent or illegal or completely reprehensible we are taking that fucking money and living large as a team for the rest of our lives. Sex is not that big a deal. If someone wants to pay us that much, and my wife is game, then let's fucking go.
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u/lovepig1337 Feb 07 '23
This. I'm married and have a kid. If my wife was down, I'd let her fuck another dude for $20 million. Shit, I'd let them go on a weekend fuck vacation. $20 million is a game changer in life.
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u/StrongStyleBJJ Feb 07 '23
This. Not only that, what’s the worst case scenario he gets my wife off a couple times? Big whoop, she didn’t just marry me for my solidly middle class income
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Feb 07 '23 edited Feb 07 '23
I have been with my husband since I was 14 and he was 15. We are 33 now. We have a 5 year old daughter.
I'd unquestionably let someone have sex with my husband for 20 million and if I didnt know beforehand, then as soon as he told me about the 20 million, I'd probably just say "yeah, I'd do the same thing".20 million is life changing money - like we don't have to worry and nor does my daughter kind of money. All that for, what, maybe 30 minutes?
And I wouldn't divorce him, because why would I? I don't understand why I'd have to lose my husband and family over this? I guess I simply do not view sex work much different than other work, though.
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u/iCarlysTeats Feb 07 '23
Yep. Married 22 years here. Happily, sexually fulfilled as well. Anyone would be an absolute idiot to turn that deal down. In the timeless wisdom of Uncle Luke, 'pussy ain't nuthin but meat on the bone'.
Ok, that's overstated for hyperbole of course, but not by much. No emotion involved, no time commitment, nothing but a hit and quit memory as we live out our days in luxury? No question we'd go for that. It's not the physical act of sex that really matters, it's all the mentals connected to it.
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u/tom-dixon Feb 07 '23
I guess I simply do not view sex work much different than other work, though.
Same. For every job we sell our attention, time and body. Even office jobs require to sit in front of a computer and look at a screen for hundreds/thousands of hours. Even work-from-home jobs.
After spending 50% of my waking hours of my adult life at work, I won't earn anywhere close to 20 million total. Sex is just sex, if it guarantees financial freedom for my family for the rest of our life, I'd be the one talking my SO to do it.
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u/guywithaniphone22 Feb 07 '23
Yea I’d even go the other direction, that if you have kids and you didn’t do this to secure their future you care more about the idea of your pride and someone sleeping with your partner then you actually do your family. Like imagine you find out you could have had life on easy mode, no need to work a soul crushing job but your dad was jealous some guy was gonna get to pound your mom. I’d probably stop talking to them for awhile.
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u/Dag-nabbitt Feb 07 '23 edited Feb 07 '23
I've been with my wife for over 10 years. I can say with certainty that we would be absolutely livid with each other, if either of us passed up this opportunity. edit: assuming it is safe and consensual
You could take just a million of those dollars, give it to a charity, and instantly help thousands of people survive. Then we could pay off all of my parents' debts. We could secure my in-laws' retirements. Have a financial advisor help us manage the rest, and then retire ourselves.
Sex is not as special as you think it is.
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u/CommonSenseIsNeeded Feb 06 '23
Exactly won’t stay with a cheater but I got rich so I’m out
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Feb 07 '23
This is the best answer. Might as well take the money but cheaters never change.
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u/Lysol20 Feb 07 '23
Can people not read? You wouldn't know until after they finish. So no ball cupping.
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u/furcryingoutloud Feb 07 '23
So, you're saying she had to make an executive decision and she went for the deal. That's good executive decision making right there.
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u/OGodIDontKnow Feb 06 '23 edited Feb 06 '23
Damn, I’d be supporting that behavior. But I’d be pissed that I wasn’t invited to make it a spit roast.
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u/firemogle Feb 07 '23
I want to go ass and v so we could feel dicks sliding past each other.
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u/ImpossibleAdz Feb 07 '23
It sounds like you're just waiting for an invite. You don't even want the money.
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u/english_mike69 Feb 06 '23
I’d be asking if they’re gonna be around again next week with another $20 million. Hell, for that much he could bend me over and ride me like a pony…
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u/coldestdetroit Feb 07 '23
Shit for 10 mil my girl gon make him nut. For 10 mil ima make his soul nut
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u/LeftFieldBlue Feb 07 '23
wonder how many people who be like "HELL YESS" have had more than a 3 month relationship
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u/Tinksy Feb 07 '23
My husband and I have been together for 19 years and I would absolutely tell that bitch to go fuck whoever for 10mil each, and I'd lock his ass out til the deed was done. Hell I'd help him manscape for the occasion. There better be a condom cause I don't want any long-term consequences (viral or prodigal), and you better believe I'd make him an epic breakfast the next morning, but I'm definitely not stopping him. I'm 100% confident he'd feel the same. That's an obscene life-changing amount of money and turning it down over some bullshit social norms is just silliness. If she or he is hot, you go enjoy your night...if not, well, it's an hour of work to never work again - figure it out. If the roles were reversed, I'd do it without question. Either way, as soon as the check clears we'll be galavanting off to somewhere together and fucking that memory right out of each other.
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u/BeHereNow91 Feb 07 '23
If my girlfriend found out that I had turned down $10m for each of us because I didn’t wanna fuck some rando, she’d dump me on the spot and go find the dude. $20m is a stupid amount of money for this question.
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u/boot20 Feb 07 '23
Man, if my wife got $20 million just for fucking a dude once, you can bet your ass I'd be bringing them lube, snacks, water, Gatorade, whatever the fuck they needed. $10 million a person means we're done with this fucking stupid world. We can hole up in our house, chill out, hang out, do whatever the fuck we want.
Hell, I'd be massaging, bringing her whatever she wanted every day because she earned it, we're out of the rat race.
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u/SlowIsntGoodDriving Feb 06 '23
Shit I'll do that for 2$, 20 mil better have her cumming home from cum dripping out the entire way
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u/pauljoemccoy Feb 07 '23
My wife and I would probably divorce if either of us had this chance and didn’t take it.
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u/SonsofNavi Feb 07 '23
Not really cheating if you know and consent before hand
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u/Orphodoop Feb 07 '23
A lot of people are missing the prompt. "... they tell you immediately afterwards ..."
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u/Space-Catto-V2 Feb 06 '23
Honestly I’d probably be too sad and just leave with the 10 million soon as I get it assuming they tell me after smashing.
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u/iaymnu Feb 07 '23
I’ve been doing it wrong. I’m not getting money out my SO having sex with other people.
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u/Training101 Feb 07 '23
Question is if for that 10 mil would you do clean up. Loool
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u/VisceralX1 Feb 06 '23
Over the top it but he's right though, let her do it, get the $10 mil & bounce.
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u/miniperle Feb 07 '23
It cost me several thousands of dollars dealing with the consequences of my ex cheating for free with women the equivalent of cockroaches. In this I’d take my half & then scoot out all the same too.
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u/SilhouetteAll3n Feb 07 '23
Haha I was with it until the end line - s/he/they’re a keeper… talk about a bread winner, I’d be asking if they knew others willing to pay to play, or better yet: staying silent and raking in the dinero. Do you boo! I’m just happy to be on the team! 😂
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u/bigstinky Feb 07 '23
But...But...It says in the question that they tell you AFTER...So the best part of all this never gets to happen. I mean, I gladly take the loot and bounce...But I want to be in on the fun part.
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u/zakaw Feb 07 '23
I do not have a significant other to pimp out, but he can have me any day for that amount.
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u/The-Lazy-Lemur Feb 07 '23
I'd offer for him to do me after he was finished with my wife for an extra 20mil.
I'm also a girl
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u/Indigoh Feb 07 '23
I'd be upset if they didn't. Like, you could have let us escape from this capitalist hellscape for life, and you didn't because of flimsy social expectations??
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u/QualityVote Feb 06 '23
If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!
If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", DOWNVOTE this comment!
Whilst you're here, /u/MoodyConflict, why not join our public discord server or play on our public Minecraft server?