r/blackmagicfuckery • u/apple_plant • Feb 05 '23
penitentiary magic
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u/c0ntr0ll3dsubstance Feb 05 '23
That man just earned himself some honeybuns and ramen noodles for sure
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u/CHAINSMOKERMAGIC Feb 05 '23
Funny story, I'm actually a street performing magician. Wound up in jail for about a month once (long story) with no commissary money. Basically survived by doing magic every Friday night before they'd put the movie on. Guys would tip me should and chips. Enough to have a decent spread after dinner every night. Funny thing is, I know EXACTLY how this dude did this trick, including where he sourced the materials needed that aren't typically available in jail.
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u/yeabuttt Feb 05 '23
Can we know how?
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u/CHAINSMOKERMAGIC Feb 05 '23 •
Yes. Spend 20+ years as a professional magician, and you TOO can know. 😉
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u/ItsVincent27 Feb 06 '23
Obviously, he farted on the cards to make them fly to his hand
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u/aardvarktime14 Feb 07 '23
Outside of prison it’s done with a special string or thread that is practically invisible. Not positive but 99% sure it’s connected to his head and that why he can move his hand without pulling on the thread but can grab it to pull it after showing “nothing is connected”. It’s also why it spins around his waist without his hands controlling it. The string is usually pretty fragile so you can break it easily after the trick so it’s no longer connected and you can hardly tell it ever was. I personally prefer slight of hand over gimmicks like this so enjoy the new knowledge.
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u/CaterpillarThriller Feb 05 '23
save some saw noodles and sprinkle it ontop for some extra crunch
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u/Zestyclose_Aerie9831 Feb 05 '23
Gang rape avoided, king. 💥💎💥
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u/trainspottedCSX7 Feb 05 '23 edited Feb 05 '23
As a former prisoner.
This joke is very dilapidated. There's this thing called PREA now. We just said it as it looked, PREE-uh
Prison rape elimination act. The video they show you is fucking hilarious. Basically though, there's enough queens in prison than gang rape and stuff doesn't really happen. You might get wrecked over some debts and beat up, but they have DNA testing and cameras and ways to punish.
In the tier program which I believe is either 18 or 24 months long, you get thrown in cell without sunlight, nothing but a Bible and a bunk mate.
The warden told us once that you could have your family mail you some sunshine.
People got out of that, they didn't wanna go back.
Edited to add: it's 12 months long roughly but I feel if they ain't cooperating and changing it can go longer til a maximum amount of time.
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u/sugarforthebirds Feb 05 '23
Damn bro… that “have your family mail you some sunshine” line really hits
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u/trainspottedCSX7 Feb 05 '23
Yeah, it hits even harder when you see the look in certain people's eyes after they made it out.
They chill out a lot more, but they also just turn into an entirely different animal.
After doing research it's a 12 month program basically. Made for reprogramming the most violent and dangerous offenders.
The ones that make it through either actually change, or get smarter to beat the system. Much like drug rehab. People that go to rehab either actually want to change, or they just want to beat the system. Source- I was in Georgia Drug Court as well.
Also locked up with rapper Lil Baby at Hancock State.
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u/yuccatrees Feb 05 '23
By queens in prison do you mean gay effeminate men?
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u/trainspottedCSX7 Feb 05 '23
Yes, I don't mean that as a derogatory or negative term. The main one in my block at Johnson State was literally called to and answered to Queen.
Gay people in prison just want love too. They ain't even that bad. The closest I was to a homosexual encounter as a straight man was when Queen complimented me on my looks(happened in Freeworld as well so wasn't new and didn't bother me much), one man offered to share his meth with me so he could suck my dick(did not happen, was very confused by that offer as well), and also my bunkmate one time was kind of handsy and attempting but he was also really high on Neurontin and Meth... that being said, I laid down some boundaries, he quit, no more issues after that and he apologized the next day and explained his second personality when under the influence and that it wouldn't happen again. He left me a 10,000$ mattress when he left. I held 5-6 cases of cigarettes and multiple cell phones from his hiding spots he passed to me before he was released.
Is prison rape a thing? Clearly it was/is but isn't as rampant now.
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u/sugarforthebirds Feb 05 '23
Wait… a $10k mattress??
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u/trainspottedCSX7 Feb 05 '23
Basically. So we had a mattress with a sewing needle, he had pulled enough stuffing out and put it in his straight pillowcase pillow(other GDC issued ones were all vinyl and same with the mattresses) and had a hollowed cavity that when full of tobacco and other goodies would have the look and feel of a regular mattress.
A can of tobacco was about 9 packs. A pack was 200$.
So that mixed with the other package of bombs I held for another partner and the shoe cavities in the tongues of my reeboks perfect for holding small bombs of dope, false bottom slippers with a cellphone battery, we had a perfectly color matched trapdoor in the wall made out of a Sorry! Gameboard. That held a phone. We had a tool that would take down the light cover and allow us to hide a touch screen in the light ballast with a charger and spare battery. I was the hold man and I was compensated rather well and pretty well protected. Lol.
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u/Stanky-wizzlecheeks Feb 05 '23
Dude that’s nuts
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u/trainspottedCSX7 Feb 05 '23
They say you can give a lighter to one convict and a cigarette to another. Put 100 guards between them and they'll both figure out a way to smoke by the end of it.
Truth to that or not, the message stands. You have 96 people in a box and 1500-3500 people on compound with nothing but time... we can make magic happen 😀
Edited to add: the sewing needle was made from old glasses frames. Filed down to a point on one end and a hole worked into the other over time.
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u/Romando1 Feb 05 '23
Dude: write a move script and/or book for this.
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u/trainspottedCSX7 Feb 05 '23
I write like Mark Twain. If I had an editor, they'd hate me.
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u/T-N-A-T-B-G-OFFICIAL Feb 05 '23
Not the original commentor, but yeah that's what they're called.
Usually extended sentence people that express their sexuality in jail since they know they aren't getting out.
Some of them just like prison better and some of them cop to things to get longer sentences in order to stay in prison with their lover, especially if it's already a crime on the outside to be with a man anyway.
(Source: excommunicated family member would be going to pride yearly if not for being in prison, not my choice that family excommunicated them before I was born. Not because of what they did to go to prison, but because they "chose" to be gay in the Bible belt.)
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u/Illustrious_One2897 Feb 05 '23
Also called punks. I was a CO back in the early 2000’s. I worked at a maximum security facility in SC that also houses all the HIV/AIDS inmates. There was an animosity between the nonHIV and HIV inmates. The HIV inmates had openly gay punks in the dorms. The non-HIV pretended, as if all of them were straight, and no sex was happening.
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u/trainspottedCSX7 Feb 05 '23
Punks is ironically the derogatory statement I feel in that environment. And some punks on the street would take offense to that as well. It's funny how different worlds work though.
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u/Ghosttwo Feb 05 '23 edited Feb 05 '23
go to rehab...just want to beat the system
I saw a prison documentary where some guy smokes a bunch of weed, then the next day they all get drug screeened and he passes. He probably just chugged a ton of water a couple hours before the test, right?
Always been curious about that one just because of the setup, and anytime the subject comes around that's the one that pops up. Thought you might have some insight.
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u/trainspottedCSX7 Feb 05 '23
Faulty test? Watered down diluted sample is likely. The prisons use dollar store tests most of the time. I'd did fail one 11 days after intake to a new prison by about 9ng/ml. The cutoff was 20, I was at 29ng/ml. That goes to show ya how much I was smoking. Also healthy eating helped. I was also up and moving around and cleaning the dorm as my new job at that camp.
They also say you could take a glove from a latex finger or a kitchen glove possibly and put warm water in there with a grain or two of instant coffee for color and it would pass the prison dipstick test.
Edited to add: the most magical thing I've seen is how a warden drives such sweet ass cars for such a lowly position. The corruption runs deep, once they know it gets out, they crack down. Keep it contained they let you get away with whatever the hell you want to. Once Facebook messages or social media gets out of hand completely or violence and phone calls are made... the hammer comes down and so do the sweeps.
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u/NotAPunishment Feb 05 '23
Is that a zombie in the background? He looks like he died last week.
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u/OkTear268 Feb 05 '23
How is this done?
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u/ajcpullcom Feb 05 '23
It’s a tiny string, usually worked out from a fibery cloth, with one end taped to the card and the other taped to or under his cap. If the camera was not so zoomed in, you would see him moving his head around and up just before the cards moved to make the string taught. You can buy a kit for this online or in a magic store.
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u/EdhelDil Feb 05 '23
You see a almost horizontal flash of light when he is turning around himself, near the end, that probably is the wire
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u/Puzzleheaded-Grab736 Feb 05 '23
I was going to say this just looks like the card is attached to string and he used slight of hand as he was shuffling. It's kind of a dead giveaway when he's swinging it around himself afterwards but it's still a really badass trick. Probably earned him some free commissary 😂
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u/ancient-military Feb 05 '23
Wouldn’t they all be able to see the string?
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u/ajcpullcom Feb 05 '23
No, I learned this trick from a close-up magician. I couldn’t see it standing literally 3 feet from him. It’s thinner than a hair.
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u/boatymcfloat Feb 13 '23
Individual threads from pantyhose work perfect for these tricks. Lots of pantyhose in prison I guess.
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u/CompanySubstantial92 Feb 05 '23
Wax on string
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u/Ghosttwo Feb 05 '23 edited Feb 05 '23
Wax cards, wax floor, wax inmates filled with speakers and clockwork. Everything is wax from the lockers to the cameraman. It's Madame Tussauds magical prison, and the same 48 second moment just plays on a loop forever.
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u/soutsos Feb 05 '23
It's a prop, elastic thin thread. Google "loops yigal mesika" to see one instance of this prop
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u/Gryffindorq Feb 05 '23
cant believe someone stuck a whole phone up their ass just to pull it out to record that
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u/NewlyRecruitedidiot Feb 05 '23
Can’t believe you honestly think that’s how that phone got in there.
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u/ThecoachO Feb 05 '23
I keep seeing this video being shot on a phone still in a butt with the camera lens just peeking through the sphincter as a man is hunched over spreading ham.
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u/Tw1ch1e Feb 05 '23
This visual will stay with me for decades!!! Hahahaha!!! Each prison has a dedicated Sphincter Peeker…. Face down-ass up and keeps his brown eye on high alert for worthy footage. He is highly respected as the Sphincter Peeker holds everyone’s secrets in his rectal hall. Call upon the Sphincter Peeker and he will recall video footage from years past. He is a messiah, the key, the keeper of prison secrets. I can only wish to reach such prestige if I ever find myself incarcerated.
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u/Sanbi221 Feb 11 '23
And then when his friend leaves, they’re going to stick it up their ass long enough so he can give it to his son.
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u/bootsiemon Feb 05 '23
They make them wear crocs? How cruel
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u/SmashAtoms_ Feb 05 '23
They're knockoff Crocs. Unbelievably uncomfortable too. With the paper thin socks you get and the overly defined grip inside the shoe, they're horrible
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u/LabLife3846 Feb 05 '23
He needs to magically make a “Get out of jail free” card appear.
Seriously, impressive magic, though.
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u/Immediate-Net1883 Feb 05 '23
"For my next trick, I'll make myself disappear then reappear!
I'll need a volunteer."
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u/TheNecrostar Feb 05 '23
Different prison, different magic. We knew a guy who could make anything disappear….
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u/Randori68 Feb 05 '23
I was told by a local prisoner that a burner phone sells for $2k in prison, so no wonder the guards are tempted by that.
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u/SkiSTX Feb 05 '23
Are those prison issued Crocs?
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u/SmashAtoms_ Feb 05 '23
They're knockoff Crocs. Most likely Chinese made Bob barkers (like everything else in jail/prison). Insanely uncomfortable too. Wouldn't recommend it
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u/truffleboffin Feb 05 '23
Lol Walmart got sued for selling those
Filled with sawdust just like their string cheese
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u/bestuzernameever Feb 05 '23
The sudden realization that he’s not stuck in there with them, they’re stuck in there with him 😳
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u/Myl0high Feb 05 '23
Dam I wish I had crocs when I was in jail. Plus a phone too! These guys are living good. I didn’t have a mattress for a month in LA county jail (twin towers). CO’s told me to sue the county about the mattress 🤦🏻♂️
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u/fuzzyshorts Feb 05 '23
Magic tricks are as good, if not a better survival trick as any. Good luck bro, I hope your people keep sending you new gags (would be a helluva origin story)
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u/Mrlightskin74 Feb 05 '23
"Keep going, keep going!"...for another 10 years cuz I'm not going anywhere for awhile
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u/BelieveInDestiny Feb 05 '23
invisible string my bruh
can we stop posting standard magic tricks in here? At least post good ones
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u/xwingx Feb 05 '23
String.
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u/GoinOutWestie Feb 05 '23
Yeah but how did he make that guy behind his left shoulder disappear?????
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u/harold-lay Feb 05 '23
How the card was hanging in the air sideways for a moment proves there were strings attached
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u/Lonely_Patient_777 Feb 05 '23
Damn inflation. COs got to make the difference some way. Next they probably going to have take the prisoners food home.
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u/Expensive_Bison_657 Feb 05 '23
Don’t drop the soap, or Little Jackienazarr will imprison your soul in the Frigid Plains of Npnethpthon for all eternity haha!
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u/bigwavedave000 Feb 05 '23
The way that camera got into the prison is a neat trick also.