and the awful squelching noise that occurs when people strangle their room-temperature ketchup bottles in a depressing attempt to sabotage their meals

sickening

fuck ketchup

I visited Chicago and was amazed by their hot dogs. Aside from the classic Chicago Dog, there were many different types of hot dogs to choose from. None of them had ketchup! This is the way. We all have a lot to learn from the Windy Ketchup-Free City.

Look, I don't really even hate ketchup that much in the right context, even today. I think in moderation and when paired with other condiments it can be okay.

However....

My past experience working in fast food exposed me to so much goddamn ketchup. I'd have to scoop ketchup from a giant vat into little cups as some of my side work at a previous job and what an unholy smell. I would actually start to gag after a while. And it was a kinda bougie vegan burger place too, so it was supposedly high quality ketchup, but it smelled nothing of the sort.

I still eat ketchup as a tiny spurt on my hotdogs (accompanied by dijon and relish) and as an ingredient in burger special sauce (in which it's really just there to add a little sweetness) but nowhere else.

As a side note, I was watching a youtube video with my Italian stepfather when a Heinz commercial appeared with an disney-style animated lady saying "adulting sucks" but she PROUDLY EATS KETCHUP ON PASTA. We looked it up and apparently some americans do that. He nearly fainted. There is no reason to do that short of extreme poverty. For shame.

Holding up a phone to keep the kid entertained at dinner.

Ketchup was used as Medicine?!

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