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u/wish1977 Feb 06 '23
Just go to Waffle House at 2 AM if that's what you want.
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u/DanFuckingSchneider Feb 06 '23
This is only advisable if you’re capable of hurling a chair or throwing some hands.
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u/maxcorrice Feb 07 '23
Bring a knife, no one fucks with the guy who pulls out a knife at the waffle house
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u/OohYeahOrADragon Feb 07 '23
…it’s a restaurant. Everyone at Waffle House has a knife though.
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u/imoutofnameideas Feb 07 '23
Then bring a gravy boat. Nobody fucks with the guy who pulls out a gravy boat at a Waffle House.
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u/Socialist_Metalhead Feb 06 '23
I do love me some 2am Waffle House though
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u/EnJ-Khaled Feb 07 '23 edited Feb 08 '23
There will never be any words to describe it to someone that can't get it themselves.
It's honestly difficult to explain.
Go to Waffle House and order what you want. They don't have a set menu.
Want a burger at 2 am That is gonna be the best fucking burger you have ever tasted
edit
it's 1:27 AM and im about to order a burger from waffle house right now lol
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u/Witty_Alternative948 Feb 06 '23
I think they are called therapists 😅
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u/South-Job3827 Feb 06 '23
You can, but much like threesomes you should wait until you’re invited.
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u/ikeif Feb 07 '23
Yeah, a couple friends always tried to loop me into their arguments.
But I knew them well enough that I could read through their “all I said/did was…”
Nah, I know how you “say/do” things and they’re not innocent. You do things with an attitude. You say things with a tone. Neither was innocent in their arguments.
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u/DogbiteTrollKiller Feb 07 '23
As far as I’m concerned, if people air their dirty laundry in public, the public has a right to join in. If nothing else, it might distract them, or maybe even bring them together in puzzlement or annoyance at the interloper.
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u/Gabberwocky84 Feb 07 '23
Gotta love couples who argue loudly in front of everyone and then have the audacity to ask “why are you even getting involved?” Because I’m stuck listening to it.
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Feb 06 '23 edited Feb 06 '23
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u/South-Job3827 Feb 06 '23
Am I having a stroke
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Feb 07 '23
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u/Confident-Ad-8969 Feb 07 '23
Had an edible about an hour ago and thought it ramped up way too quick for a second
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u/justwalkingalonghere Feb 07 '23
Damn, I was hoping the edible would be a sort of double negative that would make it make sense and you could pass on what the fuck they’re talking about to the rest of us
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u/Ok_Bike2091 Feb 07 '23
Seriously what in the actual hell is any of that supposed to say
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u/epicConsultingThrow Feb 07 '23
I think she's saying her BF wanted to have a threesome, but was actually gay and just wanted to have sex with another dude.
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Feb 07 '23
I'm glad it's not just me.
It's so weird, though! There's a lot that's correct about the comment, but the errors and the thought layout is giving me flashbacks to working in a field where everyone was on coke.
I'm guessing OP is either working in a kitchen, or trading stocks.
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u/TooManyNamesStop Feb 07 '23
"Working in a field where everyone was on coke"
Festival staff?
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u/Rombie11 Feb 07 '23
Wait. Everything they said actually makes sense. I had to read it like 10 times. They almost had a threesome but they thought it was a red flag that the boyfriend was pushing for having it with another guy (I think?). I'm guessing thats the same boyfriend that turned out gay in paragraph 3. 3some is a movie from 2009 they apparently liked but don't have the attention span to watch again but would read it if it's a book. At this point they want to skip to having an orgy instead of a threesome.
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Feb 06 '23
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u/1668553684 Feb 07 '23
I feel like I'm in a dream I'm about to wake up from.
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u/heiferly Feb 07 '23
Hypnagogic hallucination. I'm a bona fide narcoleptic and can certify that comment did read like a hypnagogic hallucination; it was only missing the terrifying sleep paralysis to complete the picture.
Haven't had a stroke, but do have stroke-like migraines and there's no way you're typing even that well with that mess going on. So yeah, I'm sticking with hypnogogic hallucination.
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u/bitterdick Feb 07 '23
Sleep paralysis is the worst. I don’t get the witch (usually) but I get the false awakenings, and awareness I’m asleep and inability to wake.
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u/heiferly Feb 07 '23
Every state of partial awakeness and partial asleepness admixed–from cataplexy to sleep behavior disorder–sucks donkey balls. It's really great if your brain can align all aspects of sleep perfectly so the right ones co-occur, and they onset and offset perfectly simultaneously so there's no narcolepsy-style weirdness. It's weird to think there's essentially separate toggle "switches" for REM sleep atonia vs normal muscle tone; sleep vs wake; dreaming vs absence thereof ... Such that you can be in a state of symptoms of sleep and wake simultaneously. (In a healthy brain functioning optimally, there's essentially a master switch that triggers the toggles in unison; people with narcolepsy or severe sleep deprivation don't have that–chronically and acutely, respectively–and voila! Sleep paralysis et al.
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u/bitterdick Feb 07 '23
It generally only happens to me if I sleep on my back, and more often if I sleep during the day or early morning after the sun has come up. I’m not sure what that is about but for me there’s a clear connection. I don’t have narcolepsy, but I have severe insomnia so I do have a sleep disturbance so maybe it happens on both ends of the spectrum. False awakenings were the first thing that I noticed, and it’s been downhill from there. I have had the witch/crone/chest sitter a handful of times but thankfully that’s not the norm for me. It’s normally just an annoyance now that I understand what’s going on and sometimes a springboard for lucid dreaming.
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u/Cm0002 Feb 07 '23
P̾ͯͨ͒͑ͤ̓̓ͯ́ͫ͗ͯ̑͋̑̓̍͝҉̪̜̤̻̺̭̝̤̙̙̩̪̹́l̨̻̪͎̭̳̻͕͈̲̳̮̩̼̳̲͈͗ͭ̄͛ͨ͝͝ę̬̟̟͖̭̩ͣ̿̍̆̔͟ą̧̡̛̹̪̩͖̦̟̰̩̮͖̟̗̘͉̖̅̔͊͂ͮ̌͌ͨ͂̆ͬͥͤͭ̚͡s̺̺͙͍ͣ͒̇̎̀͡ẽ̢̖͚͙̻̙͇̭̦̈ͮ͆̅̃͌ͥ̃̉͑ͯ͢͝ ̵̼̟̬̻̃̾͗̓̆͒́͜w̺͚͇̻͈̦͗̉̓͛͐͊͒ͦ̓̽̈́ͩ̐̈ͥ̀͟ą̴̛̺̩̤͔̤̫̳̻̟̙̫̜̇ͨͥ͛̅̾̀̌ͭͣ̉̂̆̆͛̐ḱ̷̪̪̬̫͈̳̳͚̼̯̌͛̂̎͛̾͂ͤ̅̿ͯ̎͂̍͑̾̀̑͜e̶͈͍̖͉̰͕͕͙̫̘͔͊ͥ͒̈ͯ͌͘ ̡̨̛̙͚̥̻̜̫̆̃̂̈͌̎̾ͮ̊̄̎̽ͣ̒́ủ̸ͭ̃̀̔̒̒̓͐́ͮ̂ͤ̊̍̒͂͘͜͏̤̦͍̗̪̻̰̲̹̤͎͖̘̤̪̬̘͔p̸̸̥͚̬͍͚ͩ̄͛̂ͣ́̏͡ ̼̗̥̩̣͖̞̟̠̗͉͖̐̐̍ͮ̒͛̈̾́̈́ͮ͒̽̉͗͘s̲̭̺̱̣ͮ͒̈́̍͛̆ͧ͗̔ͥ̂ͭ̕͝o̫̝͎̝̹̅͋̓̆ͨ̽͒̅̽͟o̡̧̧̻̠̝͕̠͈̦̟̫̹̺̞͍̯̽̋̋͗͊ͣͧ̈̉̿̀͛ͨ͊͋̚͞n̷̷ͣ͌ͬ͗ͩ̓̍ͫ̈ͩ͛͒ͬ̄͏̱̯̮̖͚͙̘̼̦͇̦̳̜͈̣
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u/hippfive Feb 06 '23
WAT??
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Feb 06 '23
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u/Lady_of_Link Feb 06 '23
The question is what are you saying your wall of text is so filled with spelling and grammar errors that it's barely readable
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Feb 06 '23 •
[deleted]
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u/realboabab Feb 07 '23
please finish your comment. (That open parenthesis is haunting me
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u/hipmetosomelifegame Feb 07 '23
I skimmed like four times trying to find the closing parentheses and it's still bothering me.
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u/Baybladerz Feb 07 '23
WAT??
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u/frankaislife Feb 07 '23
Digging down the post history. I'm like 90% sure this is a bot account, probably with some ai shit.
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u/2021sammysammy Feb 07 '23
I'm sure it is as well. Who states the languages they've used (including "medical latin") but then not say the actual main language they use? So weird
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u/Cats7204 Feb 07 '23
Am I the only one who perfectly understands this high person?
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u/spiderskizzles Feb 07 '23
Yeah I understand it just fine, what I don't understand is what the hell they are talking about. It seems like someone with mental illness to me. May or may not be high.
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u/mynameisborttoo Feb 07 '23
Does this track with what you read?
(Paraphrasing OP):
I almost had a 3some once, but didn’t go through with it. Turns out it’s a red flag for me. Not the 3some itself, but my partner being more into the idea than I am.
By the way, I really liked the movie 3some when I was younger. I don’t really remember what it’s about, and I wouldn’t have the attention span to watch it now. I wonder if it was originally a book. Oh well, I wouldn’t read that either. I’d give the movie a 6/10.
What was I talking about? Porn 3somes? Those are more like orgies if you ask me. Haven’t tried it though, so I’m no expert.
(Editor’s note: these should be separate paragraphs)
Oh yeah! Me and this guy were “thinkink” (cute word we came up with for brainstorming ways to reignite the romance), and he suggested a 3some as a solution for our already broken relationship. Turns out he was gay.
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u/FromUnderTheWineCork Feb 07 '23 edited Feb 07 '23
Is this about what you gathered from the comment? Their boyfriend trying to get them into a threesome should have been their queue to realize he was gay because he wanted it with another dude. Also, never done a threesome or engaged with the content that is 3some (book?). They fuck with orgy porn though
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u/SadisticAvocado Feb 07 '23
Stay strong friend, I understood what you meant... More or less, at least
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u/fondledbydolphins Feb 06 '23
My dream career is being the referee in full-contact couple's arguments.
You can bring a physical weapon OR unrelated personal attacks.
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u/Thereisnopurpose12 Feb 07 '23
Going to be hard to do personal attacks when the wind is knocked out of ya.
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u/fondledbydolphins Feb 07 '23
I see that you're going to bring a riot gun.
Better get that shot off before your partner's comments about your mother.
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u/Crocoshark Feb 07 '23 •
Does "unrelated personal attacks" include unrelated bad things the other person did that one of them veers into?
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u/cynicaldotes Feb 07 '23
the unrelated personal attacks thing is actually comical to me like they could be arguing about doing the dishes but one of them brings up something completely out of the blue about them
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u/ok_wynaut Feb 07 '23
There used to be a trial by combat that married couples could fight in back in the middle ages:
http://www.aemma.org/onlineResources/trial_by_combat/combat_man_and_woman.htm
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u/MapleTebras Feb 06 '23
You mean like you did when mom and dad were fighting all the time?
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u/Xhalo Feb 06 '23
As a man who grew up with gastrointestinal bloat stemming from a high iron diet rich in spaghettios leading to uncontrollable grundle fissures: I hated being the source of my parents arguments. Yes, my medical bills were high. Yes, I had a lot of anal seepage. I can see how their relationship was strained, but they never resorted to physical violence 😊😊😊
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u/konqrr Feb 07 '23 edited Feb 07 '23
So if all those issues stemmed from eating Spaghettios, couldn't you just stop eating Spaghettios and switch to eating healthy? I mean, even if I were really, really craving Spaghettios, I don't think I would accept my anus seeping all over the place as an option.
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u/AluminumCansAndYarn Feb 07 '23
Poor people can't really do much about their diets. Cheap foods arent healthy.
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u/AllTheSith Feb 07 '23
Got involved because teenager me had more maturity then two grown ups. Sincerely, by how things turned out, I deserve a honorary psychology PhD and recover my lost time.
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u/questionmeananswer Feb 06 '23
There are easier ways of committing suicide than getting involved in a couples' argument. Why do you think police hate domestic violence calls?
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u/IMakeTheEggs Feb 06 '23
Most threesomes degenerate into couples fighting anyway.
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u/EarlGreyTea-Hawt Feb 06 '23 edited Feb 07 '23
100%.
Be the third that a couple chooses for a threesome and you can get both underwhelming and awkward sex and being in the middle of a couple's fight.
Had two different couples aggressively recruit me (literally years of heavy flirtation and incredibly unsubtle invitations) for the whole "I promised my husband he could have a threesome on his 40th" crap. I finally relented when I was in a post-divorce exploring my sexuality kind of place thinking, why not, could be hot. Huge mistake, life is not porn.
Cue massive, barely post-coital, blow-out fight over their long term problems with me dead center in the middle. That whole mess was followed by them making up by bonding over the one thing they agreed on in years, that it's my fault they were fighting in the first place because I'm a sleazy temptress (aka, single bisexual woman existing in their general environment) and it's best to end the friendship to fix the relationship. Cheaper than couples therapy, I guess
And the sex was really bad (like, has this person ever even had sex before kind of bad) in one case and meh (at best) in the other, with so many awkward moments throughout...sooooo much awkward.
The only bright side is that I now have 4 less ppl in my life who pretend like they're friends but who are actually awful people willing to use me to get what they want in the stupidest way possible... which seems like a negative win, but still better than the average person is going to get from a threesome with a couple if they aren't in a porn.
Edit: so there's some ppl messaging and responding that seem to want me to share the one simple trick to scoring 3somes and I think y'all might have missed the missive of life isn't porn. You know what the trick was...too many years of internalized misogyny created me into one heck of a pick me girl combined with the existential downward spiral that follows a painful divorce which made me vulnerable enough to turn off the part of the part of my brain that suspected I was being used. So, hey, have a poor self esteem and a virulent need for therapy, and you too can have bad sex that ruins your friendships.
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u/futiledevices Feb 07 '23
Prefacing by saying (the majority of) my threesome experiences did not ultimately end...super gracefully, but alas.
A super bummer you got tossed aside and disregarded in those situations (and not in fun ways), but almost a bigger bummer that it was shitty sex, because ooof the tropes about threesomes always being awkward and unsatisfying does not have to hold. If everyone chats beforehand, talks likes, dislikes, boundaries, and is there to have fun and maybe laugh a little but also please each other? Thems a good time.
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u/TotallyBadatTotalWar Feb 07 '23
Just out of curiosity, what made the sex so bad? And meh in the other case. If it brings up bad memories you don't have to tell, of course.
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u/Cm0002 Feb 07 '23
I think you just got dealt a bad hand of people, threesomes can be fun and good sex, but the catch is you need to do it with a couple doing it for genuine fun and excitement and NOT as a concession, milestone birthday present, relationship fixer etc. (Because that shit never ends well, it's almost as bad as "a baby will fix it") AND have good vibes with everyone involved AND communicate beforehand
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u/A2Rhombus Feb 07 '23
Maybe most that are known in the mainstream, but I assure you the kink community is having way more threesomes with no arguing. Unless the argument is over who gets pegged first
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u/domoarigatodrloboto Feb 07 '23
Yeah, I thought dabbling in the world of swinging would be a bunch of crazy sex romp parties, but it was really just a bunch of couples trying for some desperate spark or one partner looking for a workaround to cheat on the other.
The absolute legwork we had to do to organize a foursome with other couples. 100% not worth it.
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u/jemidiah Feb 07 '23
Maybe in the straight world they're typically awful. But I've had quite a few gay threesomes, and to be honest they've been a lot of fun every time. I've been the third with some married guys too, and there's never been a jealousy/relationship issue that I've been aware of.
Probably helps that they've all been arranged through Grindr or personal connections with hookup buddies. That means everybody's pretty clear about the situation, has appropriate expectations, and has sought it out.
I've been on the other side in some sense--in an otherwise great relationship with a guy who had a much lower sex drive than mine and a deep intrinsic need for monogamy. So we were monogamous, obviously, but the whole thing caused tension. In the end we split up for that and other reasons, sadly, but it was very mutual and amicable--I was recently his best man, actually. Probably weird for most people, but fine for us.
Honesty, clear communication, and respect are all you really need....
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u/Sunshinehappyfeet Feb 06 '23
Stand in any grocery store. Complete strangers convos being blasted in an aisle/parking lot. Like come on people, you are screaming at someone else on the phone while you’re in public. It isn’t private, kiddo .
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u/sadpanada Feb 06 '23
“Yeah GREG! Why didn’t you call Jenny back? I heard her say she thinks you don’t even want to talk to her anymore and I have to agree mister”
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u/wtfisthisnoise Feb 06 '23
Back in high school some dude was arguing on the phone and walked up to me and asked that I yell ‘stop fucking calling him already’ into the mic so I yelled ‘stop fucking calling him already into the mic.’ Then as he walked away he said, ‘see even he thinks you should!’
10/10 would recommend. OOP is onto something.
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u/Transasaurus-Hex Feb 06 '23
"Greg has a great point there JENNY, why didn't you take his depression into consideration?"
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u/sadpanada Feb 06 '23
“WHY DONT YOU OPEN UP TO JENNY, GREG? She cares about you and you are just pushing her away! She wants to help YOU GREG.”
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u/Caleger88 Feb 06 '23
That's called being a marriage/ relationship counsellor, might as well get paid to join in couple arguments.
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u/Palliyn Feb 06 '23
My pro debater side totally agree with that
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u/capriciousFutility Feb 07 '23
Just like sex, actually, it’s ok to join in an argument as long as both other parties are ok with it and consent to it.
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u/unbonmadi Feb 06 '23
I've only been in one threesome, it was fun but tame as hell. Nobody could commit. Who wants to argue like that? I need to unleash my inner banshee and throw things, I can't be patiently explaining myself because I'm afraid of hurting the thirds feelings or making them feel like I'm madder at my BF.
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u/Durpy15648 Feb 06 '23
Wait, OP, have you just been jumping into bed with couples trying to fuck and calling it a threesome? Consent man. Consent.
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u/J4MES101 Feb 06 '23
Don’t worry, one will lead to the other
(This could be a positive or negative comment of course. Are you glass half full and or empty?)
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u/matterson22070 Feb 06 '23
I do it all the time. Usually just the first few minutes of it though to take it from a mild disagreement to a full blow argument - then I back out. Somewhere right before the first "FINE!" is the perfect place to step out.
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u/Lady_of_Link Feb 06 '23
You could just start a relationship with 2 other people and become a throuple that would probably work better then randomly joining someone else's argument
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u/MehWebDev Feb 07 '23
[MF4F] Young couple 30(M), 19(F) seeking unicorn to participate in paying of bills.
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u/nxnphatdaddy Feb 07 '23
Nah, I wanna slowly creep onto the couch with them. Start cuddling slowly, quietly and unnoticed. Then when they finally realize Im there its that confused horror then you get the free argument.
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u/iexist-questionmark Feb 07 '23
I had a highschool science biology teacher who would have three people at a table and call them a threesome. (Most tables had two students each in my class, but they had space for three)
Every time he said that we'd burst into uncontrollable giggles.
He never saw anything wrong with it.
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u/Codieecho Feb 07 '23
I was dating 2 girls as a poly relationship. It absolutely expands to arguments.
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u/postnut_FUDbutter Feb 07 '23
“my partner (over there) and I were just noticing you from across the bar, and we were just wondering…
…we really hate your vibe, and we want to fight you.”
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u/KindlyContribution54 Feb 06 '23
Well no one is stopping you... Or at least if they try, you've already succeeded
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u/1-10-11-100 Feb 07 '23
on that note, anyone know if there is a subreddit where you can argue with people for no reason?
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u/Astrojef Feb 07 '23
Oh i had a drunk buddy do that, after a Reverend Horton Heat show at Trees in Deep Ellum, Dallas Tx. We were walking out and this girl was ripping her man's ass OPEN! We could hear them from down the block. As we got right to where we were about to be passed them, she goes, "YOU'RE NEVER FUKN THERE FOR ME YOU FKN ASSHOLE"!! Our buddy drunk as fk, walks right up in that guys shit and just repeats her word for word, "YOU'RE NEVER FUKN THERE FOR HER YOU FKN ASSHOLE". While it was absolutely hilarious and everyone was laughing along, it was clear that our boy was about to get his ass kicked. We just yanked him out of their bubble of anger and started apologizing like crazy. Kinda hauled ass to the car and headed to whataburger, which is what most texans do at that time of the night in that part of the world.
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u/kinslei Feb 07 '23
Back in when I was in school. Whenever my friend caught wind of a couples fight he would earsdrop and the. Go act like he knew if the people. Ex : hey Bradley, hows leah? Or Yo kevin. It was such a pleasure to see you and your girl/wife at the bar last week. We should get a drink next time. Dude was master instagator. Hey was true chaos incarnate. I asked why he did it. He told me it was because no one told him he cant do it. And that these was his way of leaving his mark on these cruel cruel world. Dude still owes me for lunch. So Mellow when you read these post cause I know you lurk in reddit you still owe me a shit ton of food homie.
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u/YourLocalOnionNinja Feb 07 '23
"OKAY OKAY, BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP"
"Who even are you?!"
"I AM THE THIRD WHEEL, NICE TO MEET YOU!"
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u/zombieblackbird Feb 06 '23 •
Just join into any random couple argument. What are they gonna do? Yell at you? Welcome to the argument. Turn one against the other and use the alliance to cement your victory.