r/wallstreetbets Feb 06 '23

uni teaching me how to lose everything i hold dear Meme

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1.8k Upvotes

158 comments sorted by

u/VisualMod Turing Test Proctor Feb 06 '23
User Report
Total Submissions 0 First Seen In WSB 2 years ago
Total Comments 0 Previous Best DD
Account Age 3 years scan comment scan submission

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447

u/DenuvoSuks Feb 06 '23

There's casino schools now?

80

u/0002millertime Feb 06 '23

Always has been.

25

u/rcp_5 remy approved user :remy: Feb 07 '23

Yeah bro, the fuck is this? I thought a call was the right to lose all your money today by market close, when the call expires?????

-1

u/Lklkla Feb 07 '23

Not all calls are out of the money 😂😂

2

u/Affectionate_Law3788 Feb 07 '23

When I sell covered calls they are.

Make 50 bucks on selling it, lose 500 on the stock dropping.

2

u/Lklkla Feb 07 '23

Takin the 50$ prem to buy lunch, then givin hand jobs for a week to pay back the 500 😂😂

14

u/RSGoldPuts Feb 07 '23

It's called robinhood :27421:

234

u/kaishinoske1 Feb 06 '23

You’re already losing money and getting in debt for a degree that you can be losing money and getting in debt. Damn, insert Exzibit meme here

32

u/Jeff__Skilling Feb 06 '23

Holy fuck, am I so old that redditors on /r/wsb are too young to know how to spell X-to-the-Z's name correctly?

10

u/kaishinoske1 Feb 06 '23

I’m old too, I just don’t give a shit. He’s not paying me to be his publicist let alone his stock broker.

1

u/Affectionate_Law3788 Feb 07 '23

Wait he actually spells his name Exhibit?

1

u/Extension-Ad5751 Feb 09 '23

Xzibit? I don't know, I miss Pimp My Ride

39

u/1villageidiot Feb 06 '23

that just sounds like autism with more steps :4258:

6

u/Definitive_confusion Feb 06 '23

Ooooh la ti dah, somebody is gonna get laid in college

2

u/1villageidiot Feb 07 '23

be careful or it's 18 years of state mandated child support

1

u/Definitive_confusion Feb 07 '23

At 11% interest and they assess the full year as a single lump sum which you pay monthly. By the end of it all, the state of California collects $15,000 ish in interest payments for the privilege of having them take your money.

Ask me how I know

1

u/1villageidiot Feb 07 '23

why didn't you SBF it instead of Elon'ed it? Caroline Allison is birth control in all of itself. :4258:

1

u/Definitive_confusion Feb 07 '23

I'm just glad I didn't Larry King it

1

u/1villageidiot Feb 07 '23

Bill Clinton it. :4258:

1

u/Affectionate_Law3788 Feb 07 '23

I mean when I look at her and SBF neither seems like they're batting out of their league just based on appearances. I think at some level if you're a 4 you end up settling in fucking other 4's because otherwise you're just not getting any.

And this my friend is how the people of Walmart are made.

Also the fact that men aren't very selective. At some point a dude is basically involuntarily celibate, but a girl who's an absolute 1 can still get dick if she finds a desperate enough guy.

1

u/1villageidiot Feb 07 '23

every guy is desperate. :4260:

1

u/fredhghghghg Feb 07 '23

Eek barbadoo.

4

u/dreamtim Feb 06 '23

That’s just an expensive decaying option to earn more

5

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '23

„Hey, there is a bubble“

98

u/codb28 Feb 06 '23

Time to lose all your parent’s money

69

u/Dan_inKuwait Internet Nerd Feb 06 '23

Judging from the quality of that lecture hall, he already is.

5

u/Exotic_Vacation_7084 Feb 06 '23

He should of just gone to WSB University. “Where losses are made”

9

u/prohibido Feb 06 '23

should of

You’re highly regarded

2

u/StarshipMars 👽 Feb 07 '23

Perfect school motto

40

u/Few_Repeat Feb 06 '23

ChatGPT taught me that two months ago and now I am more broke than ever

13

u/According-2-Me Feb 07 '23

I use ChatGPT as my trading bot.

10

u/parkranger2000 Feb 07 '23

First true test of its intelligence ask it what you should do with creamers advice

Edit meant Cramer but that autocorrect is glorious and I’m keeping it

124

u/ColonelSpacePirate Feb 06 '23

People pay money to learn this stuff?

216

u/Wonko-D-Sane Feb 06 '23

There are at least a couple of bad assumptions in your question. All i can say for sure is:

People borrow money to be shown this stuff.

19

u/OddMeansToAnEnd Feb 06 '23

Lmfao Underrated comment

17

u/ColonelSpacePirate Feb 06 '23

Lol good point

7

u/AllInOnCall Feb 06 '23

Enh. People borrow money to be enrolled in a school where you can be shown this stuff.

My experience in university was that even being shown stuff was treated as optional by some. You know, the ones that go nowhere lol

3

u/parkranger2000 Feb 07 '23

OR the ones who have a job waiting for them at daddy’s firm either way

5

u/Human_Adverts Feb 06 '23

:4271::4271:

1

u/parkranger2000 Feb 07 '23

Sofa king accurate

18

u/Jamber_Jamber Feb 06 '23

Doesn't one who loses money on options expiring worthless essentially paying to learn this stuff as well?

12

u/ClayboHS Feb 06 '23

Yes but now he’s losing money from college while also simultaneously losing money trading options. Bro is double levered.

2

u/Weaves87 Feb 06 '23

Yep. Everyone winds up paying their tuition eventually

8

u/red_fluke Feb 06 '23

people paying money to learn how to loose money

5

u/landon0605 Hymen Lebman 2.0 (which means huge faggot) Feb 06 '23

You may want to think about investing in English 101.

5

u/red_fluke Feb 06 '23

I will just keep investing in 0dte options, thank you

2

u/scleep Feb 06 '23

Almost like options have more use than ultra levered temporal bets

144

u/UsedToHaveItAll From Lambos to Shambles Feb 06 '23

You’re paying thousands if not tens of thousands of dollars to learn something I learned myself from a buncha tards on this sub and on YouTube

69

u/BlueEyedSoul2 Feb 06 '23

Good luck getting someone to pay you for your YouTube degree homie

11

u/UsedToHaveItAll From Lambos to Shambles Feb 06 '23

I pay myself with all the money I’m making trading these fancy option thingies ofc

48

u/BlueEyedSoul2 Feb 06 '23

Username does not checkout

17

u/UsedToHaveItAll From Lambos to Shambles Feb 06 '23

😔

7

u/Affectionate-Park-15 Feb 06 '23

You’re gonna be just fine.

7

u/1600hazenstreet Feb 06 '23

Don’t forget about mit open course lectures.

6

u/Adjudikated Feb 06 '23

Maybe OP has been brought in like those drug addicts they used to bring in during anti-drug classroom talks - as a case study of what not to do.

8

u/Krtxoe Feb 06 '23

people love to sit in big ass auditoriums looking at powerpoints that tell them the sky is blue in the day and black at night

-1

u/FATKEDLUVSCAKE Feb 06 '23

dont forget you have to have knowledge of all 3826 genders as well

-2

u/KyivComrade Feb 07 '23

And yet you're the one servicing men behind Wendy's, while OP makes money and gets to shag with your wife. Different strokes, wendysexual man...different strokes.

-1

u/FATKEDLUVSCAKE Feb 07 '23

Shag? Hahaha :4271:

3

u/hthmoney Feb 06 '23

They will have the option to do this professionally once they get their degree in autism. :29093:

2

u/parkranger2000 Feb 07 '23

Yeah but if OP is smart he will take that piece of paper they give you at the end and go work at the Wall Street Foundation that you donate all your money to

1

u/Warzeal Feb 06 '23

Flair checks out

12

u/RockieRockie Feb 06 '23

Which course do they teach options?

51

u/No-Sock-9684 Feb 06 '23

Looks like ‚finance for regards‘

15

u/1villageidiot Feb 06 '23

college is all about keeping your options open

5

u/JFSM01 WBD Bagholder Feb 06 '23

It was corporate finance 1 for me

5

u/retirement_savings Feb 06 '23

I learned about them in a financial markets class

9

u/excelance Feb 06 '23

With the 4:3 aspect ratio; these slides haven't been updated in over a decade.

9

u/landon0605 Hymen Lebman 2.0 (which means huge faggot) Feb 06 '23

It helps keep the cost of tuition low and affordable.

9

u/WoodenNet0 Feb 06 '23

The presentation was created using latex beamer.

16

u/Greyeagle3234 Feb 06 '23

Which uni? Looks suspiciously like the lecture halls at mine

28

u/uncertified0 Feb 06 '23

Almost all lecture halls look the same

9

u/APerson2021 Feb 06 '23

Looks like a UK uni

1

u/OddMeansToAnEnd Feb 06 '23

Op Definitely not from iAmerica

8

u/Mintleaf007 Feb 06 '23

If you need a guest speaker of someone who has been trading options and losing money on them for 6 years now DM and i will bring some dope loss porn. We can call the topic, "how risk tolerance is built through a gambling addition in finance". man that title has a nice ring to it.

16

u/VisualMod Turing Test Proctor Feb 06 '23

It sounds like you are trying to describe an options contract. An option is a financial derivative that gives the holder the right, but not the obligation, to buy or sell an underlying asset at a specified price on or before a certain date. The writer of the option is obligated to either buy or sell the asset if the holder exercises their right.

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6

u/CockBlockingLawyer Feb 06 '23

Extra credit for VM. Nothing “potential” about the seller’s obligation.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '23

Puts on education

5

u/LuckyStrike55 Feb 06 '23

wtf i have a finance degree and I had to google this shit

8

u/toobigtofail88 Feb 06 '23

Appear to be batting 1000 on Asians in the front row

2

u/LawsWorld Feb 07 '23

Yea I honestly might have sat with them and got me my own quant

4

u/Mr_Winemaker Feb 06 '23

Thank you for posting this, now I have learnt something from your paid education. I call that an absolute win

3

u/Rattlesnake_Mullet Feb 06 '23

Take note future regards.

3

u/Wesleygh05 Feb 06 '23

What bachelor’s are you taking in uni?

2

u/aditya_kapoor 🦍🦍🦍 Feb 06 '23

I am also pursuing a course by IBKR on Coursera. It covers the basics in a very simple manner.

2

u/notzjz Feb 06 '23

Wait I think I know you

2

u/Unique-Umpire-6023 Feb 06 '23

Find out what company their retirement is in and short sell them.

2

u/mtsai Feb 07 '23

the difference is they are teaching you covered calls and puts most likely. not to gamble on 0dte spy otm shit.

2

u/Wind_Yer_Neck_In Feb 07 '23

exactly lol, or using options to cover FX risk or rates risk on some huge contract. Not going balls deep with your savings account trying to guess which way Tesla is going today.

5

u/Affectionate-End2461 Feb 06 '23

So why we regards pay to attend a class in Univ when we can just go on YouTube or Reddit to learn? Enlighten me plz!

3

u/crimsoncalamitas Feb 06 '23

good luck with your reddit degree to get a job

5

u/h_o_l_o_d_a_y Human Trash Can 🗑 Feb 06 '23

For a degree obviously 🙄

4

u/p_viljaka Feb 06 '23

Fucking LOL at going to Uni and sit there learning shit you could just study at home in your underwears for free.

1

u/origami_asshole Kelly Evans simp Feb 07 '23

tuition there probably cheaper than on robinhood in the long run

1

u/inthemindofadogg Feb 07 '23

I hope they have a slide about FDs.

Honestly, that teacher is probably in theta gang and selling those poor students options.

1

u/financialdrugbro Feb 07 '23

Mit got a free course of this shit. It’s really good

1

u/Alepman Chun-Li Waifu Pillow Humper Feb 06 '23

I learned this for free from a 16yo Tiktoker:8882:

1

u/McFatty7 Feb 06 '23

“Teaching” you things you can already learn on the Internet for free.

Shocked Pikachu Face when college enrollment is trending down for “degrees” that don’t teach you anything.

1

u/goobymuggle Feb 06 '23

When it comes to financial markets I feel like the more you learn, the less you know.

0

u/RickyMSky Feb 06 '23

Ignore the liberal brainwashing

0

u/leegamercoc Feb 06 '23

Maybe swap “long” for buy and “short” for sell to make more clear?

4

u/Important-Abalone599 Feb 06 '23

Long and short are the normal "proper" terminology

1

u/leegamercoc Feb 06 '23

Yes thanks! I suppose it defines the position, not the action. Thx!!!

0

u/MmasterOfPuppets Feb 06 '23

Beyond pitiful honestly. What an embarrassment to have paid tuition to attend this below basic level class.

2

u/EwanWhitby Feb 06 '23

my brother - you really think this is the whole course, first lecture of the sem 😭

0

u/MmasterOfPuppets Feb 06 '23

Well I hope it improves… lol would be heated if I paid for this class.

What class is this anyway

1

u/TrustM3EzMoney Feb 06 '23

This is the answer I been looking for 🙌thanks

1

u/FerrisWhitehouse Feb 06 '23

Lol this is somehow even more shameful than getting scammed by an online TA course

1

u/wallace321 Feb 06 '23

It's right there in black & white and I still don't understand it.

Bullish.

1

u/EthreeIII Feb 06 '23

L E A RNT

1

u/copingcabana Feb 06 '23

Sell an SPX call at 4200 and then sell a Put at 5200.

1

u/ORCA_OF_WALLST Feb 06 '23

Pay money to learn how to lose money lol

1

u/Equivalent_Cress6260 Feb 06 '23

It's a life lessons you will never learn in a lecture hall. Trust Me.

1

u/Syonoq Feb 06 '23

Look at all that fresh fish sitting in the front row. r/thetagang welcomes you

1

u/Mango-Bob Feb 06 '23

Post the PowerPoint, I missed class.

1

u/isweat_ Stoned like Tomb 🚬 Feb 06 '23

Paid thousands, just to learn something off investopedia 🧠

1

u/gg120b Feb 06 '23

Imagine this dude skipping black and scholes to price an option in exam and write directly 0 at the bottom of the page.

1

u/MmasterOfPuppets Feb 06 '23

You paid tuition for such a basic lesson? You can literally learn this shit from your watch with a basic search. Ridiculous.

1

u/SwoftE Feb 06 '23

Nice, now you can professionally go fuck yourself

1

u/Horror_Carpet728 Feb 06 '23

Meh this Is more helpfull than 89% of comments on this subreddit

1

u/BlindSquirrelCapital Feb 06 '23

The difference between learning this at college versus learning it on you own is that you may get a job out of college that pays you to lose other peoples money.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '23

You can learn all this here in WSB. I came here knowing absolutely nothing. Now i know how to play the game better. Thank you to all regards that have helped me

1

u/McGurble Feb 06 '23

My head hurts.

1

u/ItsColeOnReddit Feb 06 '23

25k a year for this?!

1

u/GoodMornEveGoodNight Feb 06 '23

Wait, so we are literally gambling?

1

u/Dick_tint8779 Feb 06 '23

Which class is that? I’m mostly through basic macro, and finished micro. They’ve barely touched options so far 🤪

1

u/Far-Ad7125 Feb 06 '23

This is the things I really want to learn. What type of class is this?

1

u/Varro35 Feb 07 '23

Why do they pretend options are anything other than degenerate gambling for buyers without inside information?

1

u/AccomplishedLie6360 Feb 07 '23

I see a few fellow regards

1

u/chaben34 Feb 07 '23

You can learn to sell calls and join the Theta Gang.

1

u/infamouscrypto8 Feb 07 '23

It’s hilarious to me that kids are paying insane college tuition to learn the basics of options. I learned that shit from a book as a teenager lol

1

u/MaterialBrush9036 Feb 07 '23

Why you paying for school just to learn how to lose money. Just learn from this subreddit and it's free education to lose money.

1

u/ElevationAV Feb 07 '23

This is university?

Shit I learned this in grade 10 business class…

1

u/EpicWhaleSquad Feb 07 '23

You should’ve asked, what if I bought options expiring today with my life savings?

1

u/Basarav Feb 07 '23

Ask the professor if he has ever traded options! Bet you not.

1

u/viperex Feb 07 '23

Wait, they teach options trading in school?

Also, why am I just now connecting the dots that puts can be exercised? Is that right?

1

u/donobinladin Feb 07 '23

AFML, if ya know - ya know

1

u/Europeanroadbycar Feb 07 '23

When we will get our wsb degree??

1

u/bcyc Feb 07 '23

at least you learn how you lost your money.

1

u/Shot_Lynx_4023 Feb 07 '23

Options. Letting us peasants trade weeklies since 2010. I'm old, and before the GFC options were Monthly. You know how much an OTM SPY call is that expires in 3 week's. More than I can afford. Also, stocks used to be priced in fraction's. Like 4 5/8.

1

u/bbien12 Feb 07 '23

imagine paying for this

1

u/irongi8nt Feb 08 '23

Damm I had those backwards...