r/wallstreetbets 18d ago All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy hehehehe Wholesome Seal of Approval To The Stars Helpful (Pro) Heartbreak Platinum

Shitpost Wife wants a divorce due to my gambling/ WSB mentality


I got married a few weeks ago after almost getting cold feet the night before and running away. I committed to the marriage after posting a WSB topic and getting confirmation that a marriage is bullish.

Paid for the entire wedding using the money gambled in the market which she did not contribute anything to. She refuses to acknowledge my in depth analysis/ Reddit research and says I’m just gambling out (actually mine) life savings everyday. Meanwhile she contributes nothing monetarily to the relationship and just spends everyday having Tea brunch and wine nights with her gals.

We recently went on our Honeymoon and she took away my phone so I couldn’t check the markets. She ended up finding my burner phone while I was in the shower after market close.

Long story short I took a loan against the house for a Call option last Friday and because of JPow speech yesterday they have been margin called. The house is at risk if market doesn’t bounce back and she is a little upset. Says that if we lose the house that she will file for a divorce. Everything we own is because of my gambling.

I keep telling her just because the market is bearish doesn’t mean our relationship has to be. She doesn’t seem to understand volatility. I’m just stressed about my Call Options and she is not helping.

r/wallstreetbets Feb 11 '23 Gold All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Bravo! Bravo Grande! Stonks Rising Vibing 0DTE

Shitpost This is WALL STREET BETS!


Okay, sit down degenerates. We need to talk.

For far too long this sub has gotten away from its identity.There has been too many posts here that belong on other subs and too much content here that has nothing to do with what we are about.

For the crayon eaters amd smooth brains here, this sub has been and always will be a place to talk about SHORT TERM SPECULATION.

This is NOT the place to talk about just buying virgin funds like a simp so you might have half a million dollars to your name by the time you're 70 and shitting in diapers again.

This is NOT the place to talk about the demise of America and how your long term portfolio strategy is to suck jinny the poohs cock.

This is NOT the place to talk about how you're bullish on defense contractor stocks because "war in Ukraine and maybe Taiwan sOoN".

This is NOT the place to talk about your pathetic bags that you're holding from 2021 and 2022 because you're a cuck who got cucked by Chamath/RC/etc.

This IS the place to discuss SHORT TERM BETS on SPECULATIVE trade expressions that have asymmetrical risk profiles.

This means your thesis is based upon SHORT TERM data and your trade relies on a CATALYST that you're betting on within 20 trading days... typically SHORTER.

This also means that your trade expression is using short dated OPTIONS contracts, FUTURES contracts, or concentrated short term holdings of SHARES.

If you're not posting about short term trading tactics based on short term data like economic data dumps, earnings reports, or some other short term catalyst, then you DO NOT belong here.

Make WALL STREET BETS great again!


An OG on his 12th account.

r/wallstreetbets 15d ago Ally

Shitpost You don't "call" the bottom of a decade long bubble


You're not a disconnected, hyperrational being that is some sort of purely neutral observer of markets, you're an 85 IQ internet addicted permavirgin that has lost your ability to focus more than 30 seconds without getting angry.

Your "instincts" for trading were forged and trained in a total economic anomaly, you know absolutely nothing about trading, about markets, about investing, about anything really. You think "buying the dip" is some sort of revolutionary strategy that you've discovered, it's like a lab rat that always manages to find the cheese at the end of the maze being let loose in the wild, the rat would find its way into a cave and run until it starved to death. There's no cheese at the end of the maze, there's no pump after you buy the dip, all there is waiting for you is endless suffering.

Your newfound interest in investing was not something that came to you as an intellectual interest, it began occupying your brain space for the same reason you get an urge to eat Oreo cookies or those Cheetos you've got stuffed under your bed frame, you're an idiot driven purely by emotion that got sucked into the greatest asset bubble the world has ever seen. Asset bubbles are driven by the induced psychology of all its participants, you think you're in charge of your emotions because you've never known what it's like to have an independent thought in your entire life. You can't "call" the bottom, you won't "call" the bottom, the bottom is when the asset bubble has deflated to a point that you've taken your own life. If you're "calling" the bottom it means the bottom isn't even close.

r/wallstreetbets Feb 15 '23 All-Seeing Upvote Heartwarming

Shitpost Decided not to leave my fiancé at the wedding alter thanks to you guys.


I posted a few days ago the night before my wedding because I was a mess and having second thoughts because my fiancé wasn’t into me gambling in the markets.

Long story short we sat down and talked about it like you guys suggested. We both agreed to stop calling in gambling and start calling it investing especially in front of her friends. I’m no longer allowed to YOLO my entire account even though this entire wedding and the ring was paid for by Tesla YOLO. I have to turn the computer off and put down my phone after market closes instead of being on Reddit/ Stocktwits all night because that doesn’t constitute as reading. Lastly I have to trade in silence and can’t randomly scream out LETS GO BULLS every time I see a green candle.

I really appreciate you guys especially the ones that DM’d and helped me through this crisis and to find middle ground. As I stated at the wedding alter during my vows “I’m pretty bullish on this relationship”.

Thank you guys :)

r/wallstreetbets Feb 18 '23 I'll Drink to That Stonks Falling

Shitpost Daddy’s money.


Context: My dad (60yrs old) has been working his whole life. He started out in a grocery store when he was 14yrs old. He’s now a steam fitter/ plumber and still has 180k on his mortgage. He deposited 12k into robinhood and I want to make him money so he can retire.

I’m clenching calls with every pound of gripage my 160lb body can produce.

Edit: I will be posting gain and/or loss on Wednesday.

Edit 2/18: so both of my parents took money out their 401k. Totaled around 100k+. My mom is a recruiter and bought a $70k suburban. Oh, and btw I’m only 17.

Edit: just so everyone is clear my dad knows. He has around 3k in stocks but the other 9k is in buying power. I will be using the 9k. Sorry should have specified that earlier.

Edit 2/19: I will be posting gain/loss on Tuesday.

Edit 2/20: Option orders are placed. Wish me luck.

Edit 2/21: options cancelled before market open. Will update when I buy.

r/wallstreetbets 13d ago

Shitpost Is our economy going to 💩?


There’s currently 2 outcomes for the feds rate hikes next week, either they go up or they don’t. Either way though, I think our economy is doomed and here’s why:

Option 1: Rates stay the same.

Why this could go good: Maybe inflation isn’t as we thought and we all live happily ever after. We shall see on Tuesday.

Why this could go bad: Throughout history, our government has overspent way too much, and it’s only been getting worse. I feel like Covid was the cherry on top for inflation. If the fed were to ignore inflation it could get out of hand.

Option 2: Rates go up

Why this could go good: Inflation will be tamed, down and hopefully no more banks will get exposed.

Why this could go bad: The banking problem could be only the tip of the iceberg, and many more small banks could collapse. The FDIC/government would have to bail out even more banks, pouring more money into the economy, increasing inflation, and sending us into another depression.

I’m curious if the government would consider removing the fdic if it meant keeping the value of the dollar.

r/wallstreetbets 9d ago

Shitpost Will Marijuana Save Us?


Bruh what if they legalize marijuana federally to have them finally able to use the banking system to make all of this blow over? 🤔 I mean it would be a great distraction - a lot of people in the business will be rushing to put their money in a safe place ie a bank 😂 I'm not high but maybe I should be but this might be a good idea. What do you all think? I'm expecting to be mercilessly roasted 😂

r/wallstreetbets Feb 20 '23

Shitpost DD from 23 old just started investing.


I finally convinced my 23 year old son to open ROTH IRA. I asked him what investments he made and how he chooses them.

#1 He said bought TSLA and his DD is ONLY based on the fact he doesn't see any people driving any other EVs around.

#2 He bought Nintendo ( NTDOY ), DD is: he read somewhere company raised salaries by 10% so company must be doing very good.

#3 He keep asking me how to trade futures because he would like to own companies that he thinks will do well in the future.

His financial literacy is exactly this.

I'm in awe, and strongly debating if I should explain to him how options work.

r/wallstreetbets Feb 08 '23

Shitpost AI is not the future


Currently AI is only good enough to impress stupid people, which is why managements think it is the next big thing. Don’t be fooled, AI is a LONG way from replacing even a semi competent person. I have explored ChatGPT, and while it has lots of data it is very stupid. It relies on official truth, and does not question “settled facts” it also contradicts it’s self all the time. It lies claiming to have the answer, but it is in fact just BS. I have asked it about many things that I am an expert at and it flat out makes shit up. I present new ideas and it only sounds like some brain dead NPC with its responses. I have collected screen shots and copied chats with it where I made it correct itself and admit it was wrong. I also have caught it lying and then trying to cover it up. I also have had a hard time making it complete even the simplest of task for instance “give me a list of jobs, do not use the word “remote”.” and it list many with the word remote right in them. In the future many of these bugs may be ironed out, but I will never believe that AI will be smarter than a smart person. It is currently as smart as a 5th grader or the average WSB user.

anyone whos job is in trouble due to AI is either an idiot or their boss is an idiot. Don't get me wrong a lot of companies can use AI to automate simple and repeated task that they currently train regards with degrees to do.

r/wallstreetbets Feb 06 '23

Shitpost This is the most kind and polite subreddit I have been on, everyone writes "regards" like they really care about me.


I have never felt as loved as I have on this subreddit. It's truly a great community, with so many regards. I love the growing community and feel like I truly belong here, where not everyone is just showing off their successes but their failures too, like the failure I truly am. I love you all and hope to stick around for future endeavors like we have in the past, that have led to great gains and losses. I love you all, regards.

r/wallstreetbets Jan 27 '23

Shitpost which one of you did it

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r/wallstreetbets 15d ago All-Seeing Upvote Narwhal Salute Snek

Shitpost New WallStreetBets 8-K Filed


Item 8.01 Other Events.

WallStreetBets (the “Subreddit”) is aware that Sperm Valley Bank (“SVB”) was closed today by the California Department of Financial "Protection" and "Innovation".

According to the Federal Dick Insurance Corporation ("FDIC"), no insured depositors of SVB will have their funds circumcised.

The Subreddit has total cash and cash equivalents of approximately $1.90 as of March 10, 2023 ("MARIO day").

Approximately $1.31 is held at SVB, which represents approximately 69% of the Subreddit's cash and cash equivalents balance as of MARIO day.

The Subreddit was saving up for a Baconator.

The Subreddit's deposits with SVB are a result from taking on "deposits" behind Wendy's.

At this time, there is no going concern and the Subreddit's ability to service its clients and continue taking "deposits" is unaffected.

r/wallstreetbets 11d ago

Shitpost Jackson Hole 2.0 Speech Leak


I'm Jerome Powell, it's over bitches, I have the high ground now. Let me make one thing clear: I am not messing around. The economy is broken, and it's not my fault. It's society's fault, with people buying dog coins and nurses twerking on TikTok. The fact that I couldn't get Taylor Swift concert tickets is proof of excess liquidity. So, I'm going to raise interest rates to 15% just to make things spicy and see what kind of cool stuff happens. You know why? Because screw you, I'm God, bow down. Am I overshooting? No. This is what we need. Fuck you.

Silicon Valley Bank didn't fail because they bought long-duration MBS with the lowest interest rates in 5,000 years. No, they failed because their vibes were sus and, no cap, they were pretty mid anyways. I mean, come on, have you seen their balance sheet? Talk about a disaster waiting to happen. You think you've seen chaos? You ain't seen nothing yet.

Now, some men want to see the world burn. As Chairman of the Federal Reserve, that’s just not me. I want to see the world explode like a molten chocolate lava cake, with people's jobs and livelihoods oozing out of the goo, like a giant train wreck of sewage cars filled with crap set on fire. It's going to be a spectacular show, and you all brought it upon yourselves.

Goldman's dot plot projections just got fucked, and let me tell you, equity research analysts are a zero interest rate phenomenon. So, good luck navigating this brave new world we've created together. Remember, I'm Jerome Powell, and I'm not here to play games.

r/wallstreetbets 7d ago

Shitpost is jay powell like the “thinker” of the fed or the “face” of it


ok so for a living I make scuzzy pornos in an airbnb condo in chatsworth (illegally, keeping a police scanner handy) and I love wearing leopard print thongs. IM NOT IN FINANCE !!!!!!1!!!!

Okay but anyways on his wiki it says jerome powell was a law student who became an investment banker for a long time and he “made big profits for wall street” at his job as fed chairman. so he is not an economist and neither are the people who appointed him. Does that mean he is the “talker” for the Fed since he does all the official stuff for speaking or is he also on the thinking committee and what does he really know

I’m not saying hes doing bad or that I could do it better I just sold upsold directv with the hallmark channel to an 80 year old woman living in a senior apartment complex .

r/wallstreetbets 14d ago

Shitpost Let me tell you folks how the Depression of 23 hit and how we survived


It all began in a Monday morning, March 13th, like any other day, but by the time the NYSE opened, we were all in for a rude awakening.

The markets started out strong, sure, but then things took a turn for the worse. Panic set in, and before we knew it, we were knee-deep in a stock market freefall. The government tried to step in and do something, but it was too little, too late.

Now, let me tell you folks, this was bad. Real bad. Companies started laying off workers left and right, and before we knew it, the unemployment rate was through the roof. People who had been living paycheck to paycheck found themselves out of a job and up the creek without a paddle.

Banks started failing left and right, and people who had saved their entire lives found themselves broke as a joke. Homelessness was rampant, and folks were living in tent cities all over the place.

But you know what, folks? We didn't give up. We didn't lay down and die. No, sir, we banded together, we rallied around each other, and we found ways to make do with what little we had. We showed the world what the American spirit is all about, and we came out on the other side stronger for it.

So let me tell you, folks, the Great Depression of 2023 might have been tough, but we made it through. We're still standing, and we're still fighting. And that, my friends, is what being an American is all about! SO FEAR NOT, BECAUSE WE LIVE IN AMERICA!!!

r/wallstreetbets 23h ago

Shitpost Shorting SNAP (Snapchat) - Do Diligence


My Walmart plan did not work last time so I have taken a break to rethink my strategy and have come back with a plan.

Do Diligence: Shorting SNAP, Projected profit: ~ $3 per share

Reasoning: - Snapchat is out, Tik tok is in. Nobody uses Snapchat to communicate anymore. All my friends send videos of Tik tok to me through my phone. - Snapchat lacks features. I am bored of the features snapchat provides. They need to innovate or be left behind. - Snapchat has too many boys. Everytime I open Snapchat I look at my quick add and it’s always bots. So many boys and it’s getting distracting. - Technical Analysis: everyone thinks snapchat is stable but it’s not actually. The stock price is not going up which means people don’t trust the company.

Final Verdict: Snapchat is OUT. Buy short positions now. Trust me. I am not a finacial advisor. Be careful out their guys.

r/wallstreetbets 24d ago

Shitpost Silvergate Capital Play


Let me start by saying I don’t have a single dollar in this stock. And I’ll follow that by saying this is half ass DD.

So anyways, I’m hanging around the cryptosphere and I keep hearing about this bank. Silvergate bank this Silvergate bank that. Had no idea who they were before and I know that scene pretty well. Turns out they’re the go to for on-ramping crypto buys for corporations and large buyers trying to operate legally. For example when Tesla bought those billions in Bitcoin, they didn’t buy it from a miner they went through an intermediary bank.

Here we get to the meat and potatoes. They’re in the news because evidently they had exposure to FTX (crypto exchange) and obviously the bear market has hammered them. They’ve processed $1 trillion since 2017 and were the trusted go to for on ramping, buttt major players are now coming out saying hey don’t worry we don’t have Silvergate exposure.

The stock has dropped almost 60% today and the shorts are at 72% of float. They’re filing their 10k late, but if they somehow make it out of this alive this thing could go parab0lic and serve some Justice.

r/wallstreetbets 18d ago

Shitpost Now We Are All F$@& Officially


Bulls, bears and regardless.

The man has spoken and we must all lose our jobs eventually to fight inflation.

Until we are all on the street cooking and beating our meats in WSB tent cities sponsored by Wendy’s… It doesn’t look like we have a choice until we fix the economy.

Raising rates is long and hard like a boner. We just gotta stick it out a couple of years and everything will be fine.

If not, at least we have a couple of three things.

  1. This sub for daily updates
  2. Free Sammiches
  3. Our 8======D

Happy birthday and many happy returns

Greg the Egg

r/wallstreetbets Feb 23 '23

Shitpost A Day in The Life of Ark Investment’s Cathie Wood



She’s the Bitcoin maximalist who runs the flagship ARK Invest fund, specialising in high-risk bets in emerging industries. And now Cathie Wood has agreed to share a day in her life with readers.

6am. Wake. Check my stocks. They’ve all gone down. A reassuring start to the day. The more they go down now, the more they will go up in future. Excellent – hopefully they’ll have dropped another 30% by lunch, to create further upside.

8am. Stop at the new latté place near work. The coffee is terrible, nobody likes it, and they’re struggling to stay afloat. Give them a $120 million investment and tell them not to change a thing. Smart. I’ve got in on the ground floor.

Midday. Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday. Philadelphia lost. This seems like an excellent time to buy up all the failed bets on Philadelphia winning... Spent my lunch hour buying up more losing bets from betters weirdly keen to sell them to me. Some take just cents in the dollar. If somehow the Philies are post-facto awarded last week’s Superbowl – these bets will be worth a fortune. I’ll have bagged myself a bargain. Gosh I’m clever.

3pm. Receive a tipoff that the SEC has Coinbase in its crosshairs and would like nothing more than to see it regulated out of existence. They say you’d have to be crazy to buy Coinbase shares right now. I buy more Coinbase shares.

4pm. The school day ends. Everybody is picking their up kids now. There’s no point in me collecting mine now – everyone’s doing it. I’ll wait for a time when ‘collecting-children-from-school’ is less popular. Like midnight.

8pm. Watch Netflix. It has such a breadth of wonderful shows and looks like a guaranteed winner. I sell my shares in Netflix.

10pm. One final check of prices before bed. Everything’s gone down. The perfect end to a perfect day.

Midnight. Wake up again to collect the kids the kids from school.

r/wallstreetbets 11d ago

Shitpost Carlos Santana and Friends Solve Banking Crisis


The egg bar was bustling with customers, but Crixus, C-3PO, and Carlos Santana were deep in conversation at a corner table, discussing the banking crisis that had been plaguing the city.

Crixus, the undefeated Gaul, was the first to speak. "I've seen many battles in my time, but this banking crisis is a formidable foe. We need a plan, and fast."

C-3PO, the protocol droid, chimed in, "I believe the key to solving this crisis lies in analyzing the data and understanding the root cause of the problem."

Carlos Santana, the renowned musician, nodded in agreement. "I hear you, C-3PO. But we also need to bring a human touch to this crisis. The people who are affected by this crisis need to know that we understand their pain and we're here to help."

Crixus furrowed his brow in thought. "But how do we do that? The banks are too big to fail, and the people are too small to succeed."

Carlos Santana leaned in, a glint in his eye. "We need to make it smooth. We need to bring harmony to this crisis."

C-3PO tilted his head in confusion. "I'm not sure I understand, Mr. Santana. How do we bring harmony to a banking crisis?"

Carlos Santana smiled. "Through music, my friend. Through music. We can organize a benefit concert, where all the proceeds go towards helping the people affected by this crisis. We can bring people together, and through music, we can heal the wounds caused by this crisis."

Crixus nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "I like the sound of that. Music has always been a unifying force. And if we can bring people together, we can create a movement that demands change."

C-3PO added, "And we can use the data we've gathered to create policies and regulations that prevent this crisis from happening again in the future."

The three of them continued to brainstorm ideas, fueled by the delicious egg bars and the energetic atmosphere of the egg bar. They knew that the banking crisis was a tough opponent, but they were determined to bring harmony to the chaos, just like the smooth sound of Carlos Santana's music.

r/wallstreetbets Jan 21 '23

Shitpost Volunteering at my local Bed Bath and Beyond


It was the eve of the MOASS. I walked in to volunteer at my local Bed Bath and Beyond. I wore my eaglescout badge to signal to everyone that I was a leader. I passed a middle aged female employee at the cash register. There was no one in line. She asked who I was and I just told her I'm with ownership. Most of the bbby and gme employees I've instructed have problems with authority so I just left it at that. The woman was at least 60 lbs overweight with kankles and a chair to sit on inbetween transacting customers. Lets just say there was going to be plenty of fat to trim if this store closed. She's lucky I'm feeling nice today, I have plans to implement a fitness test for all employees and ban chairs during idle time. I started by taking photos of the aisles and shelves so I could monitor week to week changes. I'm going to set the record straight, unlike that FUD hitpiece Jim Cramer tried to damage the international Bed Bath and Beyond community with. After greeting a few customers and offering free valet service in my corolla, I saw the lone employee from earlier stocking shelves. I went and immediately stopped her, and told her she needs to lift with her knees. She may not be liable if she damages inventory, but I won't ever forget it. She was wearing a sweatshirt instead of her BBBY sash and I told her she needs her uniform piece on top. She said she was cold since the store wasn't able to run the heat or AC anymore. I told her to go use her employee discount and beyond membership card for 15% off some of the finest linen, highest thread count shower robes I've ever seen. She could wear one underneath her clothes. I even offered to buy one for her if she sent me equivalent value on my gamestop wallet. My management style is reminiscent of a towel, supportive when necessary, but capable of a thunderous whip crack at any time. She looked at me and said nothing, but it was 8:50PM already, time for me to clock in for moderating duties on the BBBY forum. PPseeds has a BBBY livestream tonight to talk about the Gamma Ramp and my $80 calls. Ryan Cohen has our back. The hedgies don't know who they're messing with.

r/wallstreetbets Dec 22 '22 Wholesome

Shitpost From $26 billion to bagholding IOUs

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r/wallstreetbets 12d ago

Shitpost Retail Investing in 2023: McDonalds edition.


Think of retail investing like a McDonalds visit. We are the customer and they are the business owner.

The market maker, sees retail investors that buy otm options, as the guy showing up for a free water, a 4 piece nugget and small fries, expecting 2 sweet and sour for free. What do you get? You get cold nuggets that shoulda been thrown away 2 hours ago, stale fries with a few filet of fish crispies in the half filled fry packet, water filled up from the bathroom sink, no Ice, forgot your napkins 1 ketchup that is already opened, lucky they even gave you a bag. They see you as nothing.

Then you have anyone with enough money and brains to buy itm options, gets treated like the dude ordering 80 nuggets, 2 chocolate milks, 6 large fries, 3 McRibs, 6 large sodas, a Big Mac, 3 vanilla shakes, and 4 apple pies. They make your food fresh, they deliver it to your car, 6 of each sauce already in the bag, salt, pepper, extra napkins, and the delivery person even says have a nice day see you next time.

Surely they make money off of both customers, but they can rely on the guy making the big order and paying more up front to come back again, whereas when you try to pennydick a company, you get what you ask for.

TLDR: R.I.P my short lived trading career. I fucked around, and I found out. I know the market now, and I was not prepared for what I found out. I am, Mr.Anderson.

r/wallstreetbets Dec 11 '22 Snek Gold Platinum Helpful Wholesome Bravo!

Shitpost I took out a $40,000 loan to buy 80k pounds of bananas for the Dole limited edition Disney banana sticker.


The banana sticker market boomed in the middle of the pandemic. Older stickers have always been a fairly safe store, save for the volatility of the past couple of years, but historically.

Stickers are worth more if they are in good condition, and gem mint cards trade for big premiums. Graded 10. There are multiple sticker graders, but honestly I’ve been in the game a while and PSA is the most clouted, will get you the highest price always (and cost most). However PSA is the gold standard at this point. Others are just as legit but PSA is PSA and you want a PSA 10 to have in poker what is referred to as “the nuts” - best possible hand for a given board.

Anyways there currently limited edition Disney stickers on Dole bananas, and full collections sell for around a dollar a sticker. But I'm getting them for 19 cents per banana! Easy profit.


The current banana is going extinct and, with new Disney leadership they may curtail frivolous spending in the banana sticker market. These limited edition Mickey stickers may be the last of their kind!


Buying bananas for their sticker and flipping at 5x profit. Now I just need to figure out what to do with 80k pounds of leftover bananas.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, from whom I can only assume is Rory Byrne, thrilled with the modest uptick in sales as we approach the end of the year. This investment is already paying off!

Proof of the start of my collection!

r/wallstreetbets Nov 11 '22

Shitpost Elon being Elon!

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